Ask me why i took myself through the 'Black Swan' solo just before christmas and i'll never really know why? - Only that it was so exciting, the sheer exhileration and thrill of whirling around in front of an audience whilst representing such evil and darkness and that strength and possibility that can be exhumed from the shadow! - Felt so much absolute power to be a part of myself, So 'Black'.
The first performance i felt surrounded by a black velvet sort of softness - like a cloak, or a soft black hole envelopping, powerful, strong and enchanting - oval, as though the shadow was there as a powerful force -
Devouring, demanding, Plutonic and feeling sensual, head held high with a gaze - focused and penetrating, the whole of the shadow lifted and exposed from the gutter.
...And then i found the back cloth, after three lovely turns and half a menage my hand touched the whiteness of the hanging cloth and took me with it!
- Thank goodness for the next time and a time after that!
- But how difficult to allow anything so horrifyingly dark and demonic to exist and to hold back & leave it alone - not try to change or destroy it so it's left to die but just leave it alone, let it be - she is destined to loose only by a story anyway!
Kitri - so happy to be racing across the stage in an orange glow - my bliss.
Photos by 'Elaine Mayson' performed with "BALLET THEATRE UK "